24.2.17

this sh*t is bananas

First time using the Blogger for iPad app, so let's see how this goes. I'm home recovering from a virus. A week ago, my husband brought it home, and for the past four days I've been crying snot and feeling absolutely awful, but thankfully, I'm getting better by day. My little nephew has it also, and I watched him throw up snot for full five minutes on facetime today. He, like me, has asthma, and I cried watching him suffer like that. In his unbeatable spirit, as soon as his tummy was better, he was off playing Wii (he was Mario, in a red car) with his grandma, while my sister and I talked.

I encountered a really bizarre artwork on devArt today. It was a manga-style drawing of somebody's OC (original character) that not only had my full name (and my name is not common) but many uncanny parallels with my life, appearance and situation. It was incredibly choking to read how people responded to the character, empathising with her, wanting good stuff to happen to her, it was quite different from how I usually see people. I still haven't told anyone in my life, it's just too strange...

I re-wrote a difficult Chapter 27. It wasn't emotionally taxing, but it had a lot of exposition that had to be told in an interesting way, or at least not as a block of text. I laid it down a week ago, but it took me this long to make it work. One of the issues was re-writing it from heroine's into male love interest point of view, but it was that which helped me get a better grip on his character.

When I'm sick and stuck to the sofa feeling too restless to sleep, too agitated to watch tv and too drowsy to read a book, sometimes I look up people I used to know online. As I drove myself deeper into the pit of depression, I found my old party buddies, friends, old flames, all doing really well professionally, I mean not just well but award for best plastic surgeon, earning millions in Dubai, professors, PhD scientists on the cutting edge of the newest research...I felt like a total loser. And it's not that I haven't done anything with my life in the past ten years, I did spend 8 of those recovering from illness, teaching myself how to write fiction, writing a novel and doing other creative projects (to mediocre success, to steal Sia's words) but I left a whole other high flying career behind, and even though I would never trade in writing for medicine now, I lost a lot of time starting again from scratch. Never is a better time to remind myself of that, than when I'm already feeling useless.

The main reason I am trying out the app though, is to see if inserting photos from iPad works better this way.



I love my Siouxie doll and her glittery pumpkin tote bag. It reminds me of me in the '90s...



And I can't get this song out of my mind for days now...



Oh, and I liked this. Love Rose McGowan, she is speaking out against male violence a lot, a topic very close to my heart. xo



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